Holding a heart
by Snowanchester
Summary: Cora is more than willing to kill Emma Swan, the one who can't have her heart ripped out. The charming Captain Hook decides to warn her, and the two of them begin to see each other. But you never know what can possibly come in your way when The Queen Of Hearts is around… waiting for a beating heart to hold.
1. The Wet Warning

**Chapter 1 : The wet warning**

**Hook**

He was staring at them. All happy and smiling. Snow's hand upon Emma's shoulder. Charming's hands around Snow's waist. Henry gently hugging his mom. A family. Something he had never known. Something he was bound to live without. Forever.

He was Killian Jones, feared and known in Neverland as in the Enchanted Forest. He had grown up without his parents. All he knew was this emptiness in him, this hole he wasn't able to fill. The lack of love. God knows how many women he had possessed and then thrown away like mere objects. And he liked that. The sensations he got when he was playing with their smooth bodies. But one thing was missing every single time : the feelings. He sensed. But he felt not. He couldn't get attached to these beautiful creatures. Their eyes full of desire and softness couldn't make his heart melt. Did he even have one ? A heart ...? Many times, people tried to steal it from him. The Crocodile, Cora... Once, one of them had almost managed to : Milah. He cared about her. He thought he loved her. He was wrong. He definitely felt something for her. But it was not love, he knew it now.

Because he was starting to fall for a woman. For real. And in the few times he had seen her, he had felt more emotions than he had in years with all these women. Milah couldn't compare. In the depth of his soul, he knew love was slowly but violently taking over him. He felt. Each time he saw her. Each time he thought about her. About her blond hair. About the sad look in her eyes. About her fragility and her strength. Her passion and her bravery. He felt. And her name was resoning in his head, its letters dancing in his heart : E.m.m.a. Emma Swan. The Swan girl. The one who abandonned him on the beanstalk. The one who bested him thrice. The one who doublecrossed him. The one who punched him in the face with that bloody compass. Was it her resistance who made him so confused ? He barely knew her. And he was Killian fucking Jones. He couldn't fall in love. Love was not for him.

The feelings... Why on earth was he even looking for them ? Feeling makes you weak. But what did lead him to this consuming desire of skinning his Crocodile ? Feelings. He was guided by hate and rage, which were the strongest feelings of them all. It was not love. Love gives you some happy days and then turns it into ashes which haunt you forever. A few joyful moments for an eternity of sorrow. That was what love did, do, and will do forever. He had to keep off from this kind of feelings. He had to keep off from her. But was he strong enough to do so ?

_- Here, look at them. So much happiness... So much weakness._

Cora was standing next to him, staring at the family reunion.

_- Indeed, he said. But it's okay to be weak when you've got someone to share your weakness with. Isn't it ?_

_- What nonsense ! Captain, are you doubting your quest ?_

_- Never._

_- Good. Because now you're here, you have to do what you've been planning for centuries. You have to kill him._

_- Why do you even care ?_

_- I want him dead._

_- Why ?_

_- That, my dear, is not of your business. I want Rumpelstiltskin dead, I want Snow White and her Prince Charming dead... and I want Emma Swan dead._

The association of « dead » and « Emma Swan » in the very same sentence made him chill.

_- Why her ? What did she do to you ?_

_- She resisted me. She should already be dead by now._

_- What happened ?_

_- If you hadn't let yourself be knocked out by that girl, you would know. While you were peacefully embracing the ground of Lake Nostos, I tried to rip her mother's heart off. But Emma came between me and her mother and I put my hand in her chest. I held her heart. I felt it beating on the palm of my hand. And I tried to rip it out but I... couldn't. She has magic Hook. She bested me. I won't allow that._

Her heart couldn't be ripped out... She was not Milah. He would never lose her this way. It was like the whole universe had planned it. But there was no such thing as soulmates. Was it...? He had never believed in that. « Kindred spirits », love at first sight... He had never believed in love. He thought he was cursed, that he wasn't meant to love nor to be loved. And he had learnt to live with it. The only woman he had ever cared for was dead because of him... But now... He was there, in her town, in her world. She was so close and yet so far from him... How could she ever love him, the infamous pirate ? She was a princess, and the savior. She was the white knight of the story. He was only the villain. _And the villain always ends up alone._

**Emma**

She was happy. Truly happy. She was finally reunited with her family, the family she had been looking for her whole life. She was surrounded by love, the one thing that had been all too rare in her life. She had long thought she was cursed. That love wasn't for her. The only man she had ever loved had abandonned her, left her behind, sent her to jail. And the second time she had started to open up to a man, he had died in her arms. Now she began to think that this kind of love, the love that her parents shared, the love that allowed her birth, was not meant for her. But the love of a family, she finally had it. And that was all she had ever asked for. It was enough. She didn't need another sort of love, she didn't need passion. Because it made a lot of damages for such a short happiness. But what mattered now was her parents, her son, and all the people of Storybrooke who loved her. She felt like she finally belonged.

_- I'm gonna get out for awhile, I'll be right back._

_- Are you feeling well ?_

_- Yeah I'm good, I just want to go out for a bit, I need some fresh air. Don't worry._

She left the warm reunion of Granny's for the rain and the cold of the street. She liked feeling the raindrops on her skin. Water was purifying. And she had long needed to be purified. She had spent years paying for her past sins, for her life of thief. She had made many mistakes. But it was over, and now she even represented law and justice. She was a sheriff and a savior. Now, rain was a simple pleasure. Right now, the pleasure of the water drifing on her cheeks, and then in her neck was all she could ask for. Because she already had everything.

_- If you like water I could take you for a ride on my ship lass._

She opened her eyes all of a sudden. He was standing there, in front of her, in the middle of the street, raindrops dancing down his face and making his hook glow. He was in Storybrooke. In her world.

_- Hook...? But... What the hell are you doing there ? How did you... It can't... You can't..._

_- Am I embarrasing you love ? How sweet._

_- Why are you here ?_

_- Come on Swan, you know why I'm here._

_- And you know what I wanted to say._

_- Indeed. Well, let's say that the bean I compared you with isn't as dried up and useless as - I thought it was... So you musn't be that useless either._

_- You were right. You truly are a gentleman Hook._

_- I'm always right lass. But we don't have much time you see, we have to hurry._

_- We...?_

_- I wasn't supposed to show up like that. I had to stay hidden from you and your lovely townsfolks for a while._

_- So why are you standing in the middle of the street talking to me ?_

_- Because I have a message for you._

_- Here we go again. You know I won't believe any word coming out from your mouth._

_- This time you'd better. Cora, she's here too. And she wants to kill you._

_- What..._

_- Apparently you pissed her off love. And now she wants revenge. She'll try to hurt you._

_- I'm not afraid of her. I already bested her once. I can do it again._

_- Don't underestimate her, Emma. She can, and she will hurt you. She won't hesitate to kill you._

_- She can't rip my heart off._

_- Don't worry about that, she knows how to kill without taking a heart._

_- Why are you warning me ?_

Hook looked at her for a few seconds, without saying a word. She was concentrating, her eyebrows frowning. She wanted to make sure he was telling the truth.

_- Because I don't want you dead._

_- And why so ?_

_- You're asking too many questions lass._

_- Fine. Then it looks like I gotta thank you._

_- You're welcome. Take care of you Miss Swan. I won't constantly be there to save you._

_- I don't remember you saving me._

_- And yet, I just did._

He winked at her and turned back before disappearing in the pouring rain.


	2. The Cat and the Lonely

He had bewildered her. Why didn't he want her dead ? After all, he had already tried to kill her. And she had bested him thrice. He would have all the reasons in the world to want her dead. And yet, he had saved her. What did motivate him ? What was on his mind ?

**- What's on your mind ?**

Snow was giving her a cup of hot chocolate. It'd been two days since she saw Hook in the street. She was the only one who knew he was in Storybrooke. And she wanted to keep it that way.

**- Nothing, she answered. Nothing important. So you wanted to tell me something ?**

**- Yes.**

Snow was playing with her fingers, her eyes set on them.

**- Okay then, **said Emma**, I'm all ears.**

**- Great. Hum… You know, I'm finally with your father… I mean, now we know who we are we remember all we've been through… And I… ****_we_**** think that it's time for us to really settle down. Together.**

**- So you guys want an appartment of your own.**

**- Exactly, **Snow said with a sigh of relief.

**- That's awesome. I mean, you need it. You need to enjoy your… reunion. You've been apart for too long, I understand. I'll find another place.**

**- Oh no you can stay here. We're moving to Kathryn's house.**

**- Excuse me ? ****_Kathryn_****'s house ?**

**- Yeah. She just moved, she wanted to you know, get a fresh start. And she proposed us to come and live there. **

**- But don't you think it would be… ****_awkward_**** to live in a house where David used to live with another woman…?**

**- We've considered this and no, we can perfectly deal with it. As long as we're together, nothig else matters.**

**- Good. Well, uh, you have my blessing if it's what you wanted to get.**

**- Thank you Emma. I love you.**

**- Yeah. Me too.**

Snow smiled at her, but Emma saw the sadness in her brown eyes. She didn't say it back. The words. « I love you ». It must be easy to say in a fairytale land. Fairytales are all about love. It's something obvious. But Emma Swan, even if she was the product of true love, wasn't able to say it. Only Henry could hope to hear these words from her. But not her. Not yet. The Savior wasn't of the extrovert kind. And she was cautious with love.

She was alone. Once again. Mary Margaret had moved with David and Henry was with Regina. She hadn't been on her own for a year. Before getting to Storybrooke, she didn't mind solitude. But now… She was used to have someone around.

**- Maybe I should buy a cat.**

**- And call him Hook, said a man's voice. Or even better, you take me and drop the cat.**

Emma shuddered.

**- For God's sake you gotta be kidding me ! Hook what the hell ? Are you gonna keep on ****popping up like that ? How did you even come in ?**

**- If you don't want anyone to come into your appartment, lass, try and lock your door. I mean, it was literally an invitation.**

**- What are you doing here ?**

**- Are you going to ask me the same old question every single time I show up Swan ?**

**- As long as you'll keep appearing without being invited, yes.**

**- I wanted to check on you. Seeing if Cora hadn't damaged this beautiful skin of yours.**

**- Stop that.**

**- What ?**

**- Lies. I told you, I'm pretty good at knowing when someone's lying to me. And you're so lying right now.**

**- ****_Touché_****. Truth is, I wanted to see you. And I dare you to say that this is a lie.**

What was wrong with him ? Captain Hook was into her appartment telling her he actually wanted to see her ? A trick. Yeah, it had to be a trick.

**- Okay, she simply said.**

**- Wait, that's all ?**

**- What do you want me to say ?**

**- You don't believe me.**

**- Should I ?**

**- Remember when I told you to try something new that is called trust ?**

**- Not gonna happen.**

**- You are so annoying Swan.**

**- Because I don't wanna play with you ?**

**- Oh no. You are already playing. And you enjoy it.**

**- Come back to earth Hook. I'm not playing with you. You keep stalking me, I never asked for that.**

**- And yet, my presence pleases you. Admit it. You hate being on your own.**

**He had shown up when she was feeling lonely. How could that be a coincidence ?**

**- How do you…**

**- Open book, love. Open book.**

He was staring at her, his blue eyes -or was it gray ?- plunging into hers. God, his look was so piercing. She felt like he was literally reading into her mind, turning the pages of her thoughts.

**- Stop this Hook. Stop trying to read into me.**

**- I don't need to read into you. I already know you Swan.**

**- Why do you even bother ? I mean, why do you keep on coming and seeing me ?**

**- Well… Maybe you're not the only one feeling all alone. I guess I figured out we could feel lonely together.**

**- How exciting, **she answered with a huge hint of sarcasm.

**- Indeed. When I'm in, it's always exciting.**

This time, she laughed. And it was a genuine laugh, full of joy and insouciance.

**- Wow, you can laugh lass, what a big surprise.**

**- You see, you don't know me as much as you think you do.**

**- I could know you better. Allow me to visit you on a daily basis.**

She stopped laughing immediately. This was a bomb. She hadn't seen it coming. Something was definitely wrong with him.

**- Are you sick ?**

**- Do I look sick ?**

**- Why on earth would I accept to let Captain Hook coming to my appartment ? ****_Everyday _****?**

**- Because you're tired of loneliness. And I'm way more entertaining than a cat.**

Accepting would be insane. He was the villain of the story. He had tried to kill her. He had ripped Aurora's heart out. He had said she was useless, that he was done with her. And God knows how many crimes he had committed in his long existence. But he was right. Loneliness was killing her. And, let's face it, Emma Swan wasn't part of the reasonable kind.

**- All right. I accept. But you'll have to be very discrete, and if it's some kind of trick, be sure I will chase you down and cut your last hand off.**

**- I'm sure you will. But you won't have to, I promise.**

**- Don't promise. Promises are bound to be broken.**

**- Not mine, love. Not mine.**

He smiled at her, and left. It was a gentle smile, highlighted by a soft look. She had already seen him like that, on the beanstalk. Maybe he was being genuine. Maybe he had been true to her on the beanstalk. Maybe she could allow herself to trust him. Maybe he was worth it.

**- Seriously ?****_ Me_**** trusting ****_him_**** ? The daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming getting along with the infamous Captain Hook ? Which sort of story would tell that ?**


	3. Midnight Ghost

One week. One week since she had accepted the crazy proposal that Hook had made. He came every day after dark and stayed until midnight. Then, like Cinderella, he left and got back to his ship. He was actually doing better than her. He never lost his shoe and he was way more punctual. Emma enjoyed his visits. It was crazy. Her chatting with Captain Hook, drinking hot chocolate, or even watching TV with a bowl of ice cream. If Henry knew about that...

- I'm getting used to your world, he told her one night. Especially to your food. Hamburgers are like the best thing I've ever tasted. But the lack of rum... This I can't forgive.

- Who would like to drink rum when we've got beer ?

- Beer ? Are you serious Swan ? Beer can't stand the comparison.

- Pirates...

- I know love, pirates are fascinating.

- Why did you even become one ?

- Rum.

- Oh c'mon !

- Women. Women love pirates.

- You gotta be kidding me.

- I'm more than serious ! You girls just love to hear about our stories. We give you dreams. And when you need to escape from your miserable lives, you run away with us. And the next morning, you wake up in a bed, naked and on your own, with 2 pieces of gold on the table, and we're already at sea.

- How charming.

- That's how it works lass.

- That's how it went with Milah ?

The question literally slapped him. He baissa his eyes.

- Yes, he answered coldly. Except that she didn't wake up on her own.

He paused a few seconds, before raising up his head.

- But she sure was naked, he added in a smile.

- Can't you just open up your heart for once ?

- How do you know I have one ?

- Stop acting like a jerk. Okay, maybe you're a total jerk but come on, I know it because I know that look. You've locked it up, you've forgotten about its existence, but yeah, you've got a heart. And you're just waiting for it to beat again.

- How do you know I want it to beat again ?

Because you're here. Because you proposed me to spend some time with me. Because you come over every night. If you wanted to feel nothing, you would stay on your ship, filing your hook.

- Point taken. But how do you know about me filing my hook ? That's private stuff Swan !

- Tell me about what happened between Gold and you.

He sighed. His jaw clenched. He didn't want to go there.

- If I tell you about this, you tell me about the one who abandoned you.

Emma bit her tongue. She didn't want to go there either. But she needed to know about his story. Maybe then she would be able to stop him from his plan of revenge.

-Deal.

Hook raised from the couch.

- Milah... was Rumpelstiltskin's wife. I met her in a tavern. She came on her own. She was very sad that night. She looked... tired. Tired of life. She was pretty so I invited her to join us. The minute I saw her I wanted to have her in my bed. That may sound a little crude, but that's the truth. We drank, and I talked about my trips, my adventures, the places I had seen. It made her eyes glow. She needed to escape from the hell that her life had become. So she joined my ship.

- You just accepted her like that ? A woman on a ship ?

- Before that she followed me into a room and we...

- All right, get it.

- After this incredible night, I wasn't the same. I didn't... _feel_ the same. She had gotten under my skin. And it wasn't part of the plan. It never happened. Usually I banged them and left them behind without an ounce of shame, I mean that's what they were for...

- Careful with what you say Hook. I do have a gun.

- Right lass. That was not the point anyway. She left with us, leaving her husband and her son behind. Rumpelstiltskin came aboard my ship to claim her but... he was a coward. He wouldn't fight for her. So we left. Years later we came back. He wanted to avenge the way I had treated him. We fought in a duel. He was about to take my heart, his hand was wrapping it. But Milah showed up and stopped him. She had something he wanted. A magical bean.

- You've got history with beans.

- I do. The day after he came aboard my ship. But he argued with Milah... And he ripped her heart out. In front of me. She fell into my arms. She told me she loved me and then... He crushed it. Her heart turned into dust. And she was cold and dead, her eyes closed forever. I suddenly realized I would never see their blue color again. I took a hook and tried to kill him, but I couldn't. He cut my hand off and vanished. Now you know what I want to avenge and why I have to kill him. He took everything from me. He has to pay for that.

Emma would've never guessed this. Now she understood where he got that look from. He was truly broken. How could she keep him from revenge ? If she had been through the same situation, wouldn't she want the same thing ? His voice broke into her thoughts.

- Your turn.

- What ?

- Tell me about you story, Emma Swan.

She took a deep breath. She hadn't talked about this to anyone. Not even to Henry. And now she was about to spit it out to Captain Hook, though she didn't even trust him. It was wrong. But a deal is a deal.

- Neal. His name was Neal. I was eighteen. To make a long story short, I stole a car he had stolen. And he was in there. That's how we met. And then we fell in love. We were both thieves, and it was wrong but... we were so happy together. He was the best thing that had ever happened in my life. I was an orphan, I had never had any friend nor family... I didn't really believed in love, and then here he was, on the backseat of a stolen car. One day, in a motel room, he told me he wanted us to settle down and build a family. He gave me a map and asked me to close my eyes and point out a city. I did. It was Tallahassee. We decided we would go and have our happily ever after there. But he was a wanted man. So I had the idea of one last fellony : stealing expensive watches. I had to do it on my own, and he was supposed to join me after. But instead he called the cops and they arrested me. I ended up in jail. And there I learnt I was pregnant. That was eleven years ago. I never heard about him again.

She sketched a sad smile. And he couldn't find anything to say. He wondered how someone could've had the will to betray her. Clearly, this man hadn't any honor.

- Your trust issues... That's because of him, isn't it ?

- I guess so.

- I would've never done that to you, love.

- Really ? You just told me that women were made to be « banged and then left behind » and you expect me to buy that ?

- You're not any woman.

His look was intense. This moment was intense. They were two broken people who had lost faith in love. The Pirate and the Savior. On the very same boat.

Hook was now the only one to know about Emma's story. And it felt good to talk to someone who wasn't really there. To a ghost. Because that was what he was. He was not supposed to be in Storybrooke, and Emma was the only inhabitant to know about his presence. He was _her_ ghost. And every night, he came and haunted her.

This night, they were sitting on the couch, the TV on. _Hook_ was airing. They both remained quiet, the actual Hook even concentrating on this blasphemy occuring on this funny box full of colorful pictures.

- The man's ugly. My eyesbrows aren't curly. But I have to say he's kind of charismatic.

- Yeah. But to me Captain Hook has always been the loneliest character ever.

- He sure is.

- Do you miss her ? Milah ?

- Everyday. But these days I have to say that... the pain seems to... fade away. Thanks to you Emma.

- Oh now it's Emma ? Guess we're friends now.

- We'll never be friends love. And you perfectly know that.

His face was serious and grave. His _heart_ was speaking. And she could tell he wasn't lying. Her heartbeats started to grow faster. She knew what he meant. She knew it too well.

- We can't be more than friends Hook.

- Killian. To you, it's Killian.

- It shall be Hook and I shall be Swan. Because we just can't...

- You've got to let go, Emma. What are you so afraid of ? Aren't we getting along just well ? Don't you feel good when you're with me ?

- That's exactly why we can't and must not change a thing. What we share is...

- An illusion. _This_ isn't friendship or camaraderie. Do you know what it feels like to be around Emma Swan ? It hurts. Every evening, I can't breathe right, I can't think straight. The only hand I got left always wants to play with your hair and to caress your skin. My lips want to crush on yours and to kiss every single parcel of your body. When I'm near you, I'm on fire Emma. I've never desired a woman so hard. And the worst part in that is that I don't only desire your body. I just don't know what's going on. I almost hate myself for feeling this way. I_ feel_. You don't know what it means. I shouldn't feel _this_. This kind of feeling is weakness. But I do want all of you. I want you, body and sould. I want you to be mine. To give yourself to me, completely. I want your love Emma Swan.

She was astonished. Blown away. He... loved her ? He didn't say it out loud but... At least he did care about her. And once again, he wasn't lying. The lie was pretending that nothing was going on between them. She knew that just right. Because she felt the same for him. She was afraid to open up more than she had already done. Giving herself to him... completely ? She wasn't able to do that. She had done that only once. And he knew how it ended.

- I can't give you what you want, Hook. I'm sorry.

All of a sudden, he grabbed her. His hand firmly holding her head. His lips crushed onto hers. He kissed her as if he was on the brink of death, as if he was running out of time. As if it was his one and only chance to prove her he cared. When the kiss ended, Emma was more confused than ever. She tried to say something, but she just couldn't.

- You'll give yourself to me someday Emma. Because you want me to give myself to you. I know it. I've just felt it. And when this day comes, and only then, you'll be off with loneliness.

He got up and left her appartment without looking at her. It was 00:08.


	4. This was nothing

**Chapter 4 - _This_ was nothing**

The night after, he didn't come. Neither did he the other nights. He was definitely done with her. And she hated to admit it, but she missed him. She missed his cockiness, his allusions, the way he smirked. She would never have forseen this : Emma Swan missing Captain Hook. The one who tried to keep her from returning to her son. The pirate living for revenge, waiting to quench his thirst of blood. _This_ was far from being okay. _This _was folly. And she was glad it was over. Now she could move on.

- There's nothing to move on to, she said. I don't have to move on. _This_, was nothing.

And yet, she waited for him to show up every single night. She couldn't stand this solitude anymore. She needed someone to talk to. Being the savior didn't imply chastity vows, did it ? She suddenly realized that she wasn't sick of loneliness. She was sick of not having anyone to love, which was slightly different. She thought this kind of love wasn't for her to feel. She thought the affection of a family was enough, because this was what she had waited for her entire life. But it was not enough. She felt it deep inside. She missed the feeling you get when you're important to someone. The sensation of being someone's moon and stars. She wanted somebody to be her sun, her compass. Somebody who could give her life a purpose. She had broken the curse. She had a town and a son to protect. Now, her heart needed a land to head to. Her heart needed a goal.

She was sick and tired of being brave. Being strong didn't mean being all alone. She knew now that love was not weakness. And she knew more than anyone that letting someone in was the bravest thing a human could possibly do. Breaking a curse ? Slaying a dragon ? This didn't take courage. But love… oh yes, it did. And for a decade, Emma Swan had been the most coward woman in the world. She wanted this to end. But fighting your demons and your fears is easier said than done. She didn't know how to love any longer. She was too afraid of being wrong about him. He would leave. Eventually. People always leave. And he was Captain fucking Hook. If she gave herself to him, it would end in tears and blood. His thirst of revenge was consuming him. He was there for only one thing : killing Gold in order to avenge Milah's death and the loss of his hand. She wasn't part of the picture. She was… a distraction. He didn't _love_ her. He wasn't able to love, just like her. They shared this lot, this curse, that nothing could ever break. They were far from being star-crossed lovers. They were the _doomed ones_. The broken-hearted. Being together would lead them to destroy each other. And her heart could not handle another cut.

No, he would not come this evening. He would never come again. Each time she talked to herself, she thought he would eventually pop up like he always did. But he didn't. _This_, was gone. Forever.

* * *

- Mom ? Are you all right ?

Emma was coming out of Granny's with Henry. And the little boy had noticed.

- Yeah kid. I'm good.  
- But you seem kind of… turned off.  
- I'm only a little tired Henry. Nothing to worry about, I promise.

As she pronounced those last words, a car stopped in front of her. She had never seen it before. And the man who came out of it wasn't from Storybrooke.

- Henry, she said with a hint of fear, go back inside.  
- But…  
- Please, do as I say.

Henry nodded and did so, reluctantly. The stranger approached her. He seemed moved.

- Emma…, he softly said.

He came even closer, and caressed her cheeks with his fingertips. She felt as if she was seeing a ghost. But not the ghost she missed. The real one. The ghost from her _past_. Neal.

- You… she whispered, lost and confused. What… What are you doing here…  
- I received a postcard, he answered with a smile, tears starting to fill his eyes.  
- Why… why now ?  
- Long story sweetheart. But I'm here, and I will never leave again.

She looked at him. He hadn't changed. These beautiful eyes she had missed, his childish smile. That was it. _He had not changed at all._

- Get off me Neal, she said coldly.  
- Emma, please, I've missed you so much.  
- REALLY NEAL ? Are you really telling me that you've missed me ? Are you really standing there, in front of me, eleven years later ? Without an ounce of shame for what you did to me ?  
- All I did was to protect you Emma, I swear.  
- Sending me to jail, abandoning me, letting me giving birth behind bars, making me feel like I was cursed and that I didn't deserve to be loved, that's what you call protection ? Yeah, you protected me from happiness, well played Neal !

* * *

Hook had heard screams coming from the street. It was Emma's voice.

" Not that I care, he said to himself, but I'm bored to death. Let's have some fun watching Swan yelling at I-don't-know-who. For once, it's not at me."

He walked toward the screams and finally saw her. With he-doesn't-know-who-and-did-not-give-a-shit-about-who-he-was. He hid behind a car and observed the whole scene.

- Bring it on Swan, he whispered with this smirk of his.

* * *

In front of Granny's, the tone grew louder. The surprise was gone, anger and rage had replaced it. Emma was no fool. She couldn't forgive him. And she had some pride too. So he thought that he could just pop up in Storybrooke and brush her cheeks as if nothing happened ? He had disappeared for A DECADE. How dared he. That was what was on Emma's mind. But Hook happened to think the same. The only difference ? He was more surprised than angry. Or maybe both. He was_ worried_ about her. This feeling had taken him by surprise. Eversince he met this beautiful Savior, he could not help but feel. It was like his heart had started to beat again. After centuries.

In the little restaurant, everyone was gathered around the windows, looking at the stranger fighting with the Sheriff. Among them stood Henry, who did not understand what was going on. But, somehow, he just _knew_ that he would soo learn it...

- Emma, Neal said, I was about to come to you that night, but August showed me something in a box and…  
- Wow wow wow, Emma answered, visibly trying to remain calm, wait a minute, you betrayed me because of a box ? Really Neal ? That's your defense ? A _box_ ?  
- It contained something that made me believe in August's theory about you having a destiny and a quest to accomplish… I had to step aside. I was being bad for you, I was keeping you from your destiny. I had no right to get in your way.  
- You had NO right to_ hurt me_ like you did. If you really loved me by then, you would have figured out a way to stay with me and to help me with that… « destiny » I had to fulfill.  
- I could _not_ Emma ! You had to figure it all out on your own !  
- I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT ! she yelled. What you did to me was WRONG, Neal. If you think that some tears will make me fall for you again and that all I've been through after you will just fade away, you're a fool.

She looked angry, but also really sad. This look in her eyes, the look Hook knew so well, was emphasized by the presence of this stranger. The one who broke her. The pirate felt his blood beating faster in his tempes. Because of rage. He didn't knew this man, but he hated him for what he had done to Emma. The idea of her crying, all alone in a cell broke his heart. He had never cared about a woman that much. Not only he cared about her present, but also about her past and her demons. And this Neal was one of them.

- I loved you Neal, she said in a sigh, her voice breaking.  
- Emma, you still love me. And I still love you. I've never stopped loving you. I wasn't lying when I said I've missed you. Leaving you is the hardest thing I've ever done. You were my everything. And I've been feeling guilty for eleven years. I've counted the days. I've been waiting for a sign. I've been living for this moment, for the day I could find you again. And here I am. Here we are. Now we can have it all.

He paused a little, caressing her hair.

- Tallahassee is still in Florida you know, he added with a gentle smile. Please, Emma…

He had taken her face in his hands, weeping her tears away with his fingertips, his eyes staring at hers. She could see the regrets in them, and the love. All the memories of the time they had spent together came to her mind. She felt the happiness of these moments shrouding her. Slowly, he came closer to her face. His look left her eyes to gaze at her lips. She wanted to step back. To punch him in the face. To yell at him, to spit all her bitterness out. But she couldn't resist the attraction. She felt good, overwhelmed by a soft feeling of joy and comfort. She felt loved. He layed a gentle kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes, and it was like time hasn't flown at all. She was in this hotel room eleven years ago. They were young, they were madly in love, fate had decided they would go and settle down in Tallahassee, everything was perfect. She was _happy_.

* * *

_ His_ eyes upon her _face_. And then_ his_ lips upon _her_ lips. Hook was still observing them. And the rage he felt was stronger than ever. He thought only Gold could provoke this sensation in him. Wanting somebody dead. Apparently, he was wrong. This Neal caused him to feel the very same way. He wanted to rush between them and push him away. And then planter his hook in his neck. How could she even allow that ? After all he had put her through ? She had confessed him every detail. How she was arrested. How she learnt she was pregnant in jail. How she felt broken and how the suicide thoughts that had effleurer her. And now, she was kissing him ? Without an ounce of resistance ? She was abandoning her to his moment. To him. Though she had told Hook she could not let go. He hated them both. He hated this whole town, this whole world. He had been a fool to even think about loving her. She was not worth Killian Jones. She could live happily ever after with her fucking Neal. He didn't give a damn. He was actually gratefull. Now he could dedicate himself to what he had been living for for centuries : revenge.

- I'll take care of you later, sweet little Swan…Be sure I will...

* * *

**A/N : Wow so it took me ages to write this chapter ! I didn't really know how to "treat" Neal and how Emma could possibly react... I do think it all goes a little fast, but like I've already said, this is a mini-fanfic, so I guess it makes it okay. Well, I hope it does :) Anyway, I really hope you liked this chapter ! Because introducing Neal and making him facing Emma was kind of hard to render.**

**Besides, I wanted to thank a guest who sent me a review yesterday : THANK YOU. Telling me that not only you love my fic but also that you think I'm a good writer is... unbelievable ! It means a lot to me because English isn't my mothertongue (I think it shows... I mean, there has to be mistakes !) And I'm glad I got you hooked :D Thanks a lot for your review, really.  
**

**And thanks to my followers and to those who sent me reviews. I appreciate it :D  
**


	5. This Perceptive Little Boy

Chapter 5 : This perceptive little boy

A couple of days later, Emma was still confused. Neal had asked her to think about the two of them, dying to know whether she wanted to give it a shot or not. She wanted to refuse so hardly, because of obvious reasons : he had betrayed her, sent her to jail, abandoned her, hadn't given any news in eleven years and, as a consequence, he had abandoned his son. This point was the trickiest issue : Henry. Now Neal was in Storybrooke, she had no choice. She had to tell her - _their_ son. If she refused Neal's offer, he would go. That's what he had promised her. But Henry had seen him and he would overwhelm her with questions – actually, he had already started his interrogation. And if she accepted... he would eventually come and live with her, and then Henry would need to know. In both cases, she had to tell her son the truth. She hated lying to him, and this one was too big to last. He had the right to know about his father, it was way more urgent than her figuring out whether she wanted to go back together with her first love or not.

This afternoon, she asked Henry to come over as Neal was waiting in her room. She had told him about Henry, and he had received the news like a bombshell. He didn't know he had a son. And learning about this emphasized his desire to get back together with Emma and to form a true family. He was both excited and afraid to meet him : would he be disappointed ? Would he look like him ? Would he have his eyes ? Would he run away ? Three knocks on the front door broke his reverie. It was him.

- Mom, he said with a puzzled expression, what's going on ? You never ask me to come over, I'm always the one to sneak in.

- Have a sit Henry, she calmly replied. I have to tell you something important, and I need you to be as... open-minded as possible.

The little boy nodded and sat. He grew anxious as he saw her mom trying to figure out a way to spit what she had in mind out.

- Look... she cautiously began, do you remember what I told you about your father ?

Yep. He was a fireman and he died a hero saving a family from the flames.

The young women sighed. This was too difficult. And yet, she hadn't even started to confess.

- Truth is... I... I lied, Henry. I'm so sorry but I did and now I've got to tell you who he really was.

My dad is still alive ?

Her son had uttered those words with such a low voice that Emma felt her heart falling to pieces. This look... She knew it so well. She used to have the same when her foster parents told her they didn't want her anymore, that she was going to be sent in some other family who would take care of her better than they did... Something had broken in Henry, and she knew that the bound that reunited them, this bond she had been missing all those years, was about to crack.

- Yes, she finally managed to answer, her eyes closed. He is.

- But... why did you tell me he was dead ?

- You seemed so excited about finding out about him I just... I didn't want to disappoint you. And your father... He's... he was not really of the good kind. Not father material. Back then he was not the father you could dream of.

She was ruining his dreams, and she knew it. She was the one who had caused him to be so proud of his father, she had made up this whole story because she wanted to protect him from the ugly truth : his father had abandoned them both. Which child would want to hear that ?

- Who is he ? Henry asked without looking at her.

The moment she had feared the most. It was time.

- Remember the man you saw me with a couple days ago ? The stranger in front of Granny's ?

- That... That's _him_ ? That's my dad ?

Emma nodded. The little boy seemed both astonished and upset. He was angry at her. He was hurt. And she couldn't blame him for that. Lying to him had been a big mistake.

- If he wasn't a fireman, he said coldly, who was he ? What do you mean by « not the good kind » ?

- Henry you don't need to...

- I need to know. You owe me the truth _Emma._

So it was Emma again. Her name in his mouth hurt her like thousands knives.

- He was a thief and so was I. That's how we met. But he... I ended up in jail because of him and he disappeared from my life. I hadn't heard about him for eleven years and I knew if I told you the truth that you would try to find him exactly the way you found me.

- You had no right to lie to me. I'm not a little boy anymore ! I deserved the truth ! My mom has been lying to Storybrooke for 28 years and I thought you were different. Apparently I was wrong.

He stood up all of a sudden and rushed to the door.

- Henry please...

It was too late. Neal came out of her room.

- I guess the boy doesn't really want to see me then, he said.

- I think he doesn't want to see me either, Emma bitterly whispered.

It was dusk. Hook was pacing around the harbor, bored to death, thinking about all the possible ways to kill his ennemy. He absolutely wanted to use his hook. A witty death. From a witty murderer. He raised his hand of steel. The last sunbeams covered it with an intense ocre light. Soon, the flow of beams turned to a deep red. His hook was shrouded by blood.

- No way ! yelled a voice. Captain Hook in Storybrooke !

Hook turned around. He didn't see anyone. No one there. But he sure had heard a voice.

- Show yourself !

- Up there ! Answered the voice.

Hook raised his head and saw a little silhouette sitting on a branch of a tree.

- What are you doing here ? Asked the little shadow.

- I could ask you the same question will-o'-the-wisp, answered the Captain. You up on a tree is way weirder than me walking by the sea, isn't it ?

- But you are not in my fairytales book.

- That's because my life is far from being a fairytale lass. What's your name ?

- My mom told me not to tell my name to strangers.

- I'm no stranger, I'm Captain Hook ! You seem to know me pretty well.

The « will-o'-the-wisp » remained quiet. Was it a good idea ? He was Captain Hook... Precisely, he was Captain Hook.

Henry, he said. My name is Henry.

Henry... This name rang a bell...

- Nice to meet you little Henry, politely answered Hook. Who's your mom ?

- That's a tough question.

- I don't see how this question could possibly be tough.

- I have two moms. The one who adopted me and my birth mom.

- Is the latter a blonde in a leather jacket ?

- Emma ! How does Captain Hook know my mom ?

He was the child she had to get back to. Her motivation to climb the beanstalk. In the scenarios he had imagined, in which he killed his old enemy, Emma was always there. Because before getting his revenge on him, he wanted to hurt her. The romantic feelings had turned into a wild rage. He could not stand to see her with him. He could not stand the fact that she chose Neal over him, the pirate who had shown her the man he was. And there was her beloved son, defenseless in the night.

- Long story lad. Let's say we climbed a beanstalk together.

- A _beanstalk_ ?

- Would you like to hear the whole story ?

- Of course ! Come up here !

Climbing a tree. Way easier than climbing a beanstalk, but still, the family had something with climbing. So he climbed, and then sat next to the little boy. This lad had no problem with trust, unlike his damn mother. All he had to do now was knocking him down and take him to his ship. A perfect kidnapping.

- So, said Henry with excitement, what about that beanstalk ? No, wait, first tell me : how did you meet my mom ?

- She bested me.** I was pretending to be** an innocent peasant but your mom saw I was lying and she got me to tell her who I really was.

- First time I met her she told me she had a particular skill. That she could tell when someone was lying to her.

The little boy paused for awhile, **lowering** his head.

- But apparently it condones her lying, he said with sadness.

- She lied to you lad ?

- About my father. She told me he was dead as a hero and now she tells me he's alive and that he used to be a thief. And he's in Storybrooke now. How could she lie to me about that ? And my dad... He abandoned my mom. He abandoned us. How can she forgive him ? I hate him.

Neal... He definitely was Henry's father. And the child hated him. As a consequence, they had an enemy in common.

- Maybe she lied to you to protect you.

- I know that. She loves me. She even gave me True Love's Kiss. But... I told her everything when everyone else thought I was crazy. I told her about the curse. And she... lied.

- You know, sometimes lies are good. It may sound... contradictory. But you can't tell the truth everytime. Not when you know it might hurt. Emma lied to keep you from being hurt. She did it for you, out of love. You're lucky to have a mother who loves you this way. And I know it's not of my business but... I think you can't blame her for loving you. Can you ?

Henry stared at him. He would have never imagined Captain Hook this way. He was... kind and understanding. Plus, where was his red outfit ? And his hat ? His moustache...?

- Why haven't you kidnapped me already ? Henry said as if it was totally normal.

The pirate stood petrified. How the hell...

- What ? What do you mean ?

- You always try to kidnap the children : the lost boys, Wendy, John and Michael. To trap Peter Pan. Now you could try to kidnap me to obtain something from my mother. So why aren't you trying to knock me down or whatever ?

This boy was his mother's son for sure. He had bested Captain Hook. This perceptive little boy.

- Truth is, lad, I thought about that, you're right. But I'm going to let you go.

- But why ?

- Because you must have ran away from Emma after she told you the truth and she must be really worried by now. And even though I'm not in the greatest terms with her, she's your mom. And a mom is mom. So go back to her, apologize for running away like that, and tell her you love her.

- I didn't know Captain Hook had such a soft side.

- The Swans... I've got a lot of surprises in stock for you. Now go.

Henry smiled and then came down from the tree.

- I like you better than in stories, Captain, he said once on the ground.

And then he went way. Hook, still sitting on the branch, was smiling. He should've kidnapped him, it was the occasion. But he liked this child. And he saw his mother in him. Staring at the moon floating in the dark veil of the night, he pictured the three of them, living together. A family. The one thing he had never known in his long existence. The one thing he was bound to live without. Because of Neal. Suddenly, the dream vanished and the night sky turned into a black abyss of despair and anger. He had stolen it from him. When he had talked to Emma about his feelings that night, when he had kissed her, he thought she would eventually let go and join him. But Neal had appeared and he had destroyed it all. She was a fool for letting him in her life again after what he had done to her. She had chosen Neal over him. Like the moon and the sun, Emma Swan and Killian Jones were bound to live apart. Their destinies were not to meet. And yet, the first could not exist without the second. But nor Emma nor Killian were ready to face this fact. Not yet.


End file.
